The so-called Uncomplicated Affair

“No strings attached….can you handle it?”

Recently, I have read a book entitled “No strings attached” written by a Filipino writer and published under the Summit Media Publishing Corps. The book is a story of a woman soon to turn thirty years old, met a younger man who made her feel different. Though they have mutual understanding, they agreed to just have an open relationship which requires no serious commitment at all.

I found the story quite fascinating and it led me to think some queries such as: Is it enough to be in a relationship without any direction? Is it worth risking for just a vague relationship status? Will I ever allow myself to be involved in a guy who’s not man enough to gamble a serious relationship with me?

These days, I’m trying to figure out if I can handle a kind of relationship which seems so ubiquitous – the “more than friends, less than lovers” thingy. Yes. It is so common already. A lot seems to be involved in this kind of relationship. Some even labelled themselves as “best friends” yet this kind of affair is just trying to cover up the real situation between a woman and a man. More teenagers or young adult used euphemistic words such as ‘best friends,’ ‘special friend,’ or simply ‘friends’ to hide their relationship as ‘more than friends but less than lovers.’

When I was still in grade school, there came a point when I acted like a guy and dressed like one. I also love to have guy friends. I felt so ‘me’ whenever I am with them. Guys are just so simple and natural. Their clothes are really comfortable. I also love playing games with them because they are much lively than girls. They are also much playful and adventurous than most of my girl friends.

However, I don’t have a guy best friend though I have a lot of close male friends. We usually hang out together in a rock concert, drinking session in one of our buddies’ home and the likes. But then, I can’t spill all my secrets to all of them. It’s just one of them I could speak about everything and anything. This guy close friend of mine is someone I never even thought of having as one of my male trusted friends. He is John Milan Lagartija. He is one of my schoolmates during high school days and a close friend of my ex-boyfriend. I started having a long chat with him practically about anything after we graduated high school. He is one year older than me and a year ahead on our batch in high school. We bonded more often since 2007. He became as one of my closest boy friends. I confided everything to him. My love life, new crushes, plan in life and all. We talked anything and everything when we’ve got the chance to communicate. Though we’ve been quite busy in our own lives now, there’s still time when we catch up. We might be closer than any other male friends I have, but our relationship is just as platonic as my relationship with my gal friends. I always treasure our friendship.

There is also this guy who will always be a constant part of my life except for God and my father, of course. I met him few years ago when I was still in my second year in college. We’ve first met in Dolce, a bar in Timog Avenue. He’s name is Marc Julius Panganiban.

After some time, we started dating. He often asked me out to see a movie, eat dinner somewhere or just hang around anywhere. We easily clicked since we’re quite compatible. He knows how to handle me especially when I am in my moody state. He knows how to play along with my attitude and immaturity since he is four years older than me. I thought we’ll be an item together. But then, someone came along and changed everything. We separated for almost a year.  We lost contacts and failed to keep in touch. Yet when our relationship to others failed, we re-connected and communicated through the social networking sites – Friendster and Facebook.

These days, we’re still together and we still hang out when we found time that would fit in our schedule. We communicated almost every day to catch up but we’re not really in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. We’re just happy being friends. He’s like one special friend but not as close as my gal best friends or male close friends. He’s just special…someone who will always be a friend but will never be a lover.

Vague as it may seem, some folks prefer to have this type of relationship to avoid too many complications, miseries and even pain. It seems to be childish but I think when a person experienced being badly hurt, that person will be sort of traumatized. It would certainly take a long time before all the melancholic memories and excruciating pain will be forgotten.


2 responses to “The so-called Uncomplicated Affair

  1. This is a judgemental statement – “Will I ever allow myself to be involved in a guy who’s not man enough to gamble a serious relationship with me?” You may be aware that there are couples who are into relationships just to seize the moment and be happy with what they did. It may or may not be serious. But you made a rather good description of what the class wanted to know. This article was posted late. [87]

  2. WHOA! I’m blown away with your points in the first parts of this article. It really made me think and for me, that’s a great job. 🙂 Although I’m not sure what your conclusion really is. I think you could have still expounded on it. Nevertheless, it was nice for me and you have served what is asked. Publish on time. 🙂 This is 90!

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